O Christmas Card Part 3
And we’re back. And it’s the 90’s! Can you think of anything more fun and tacky than Christmas in the 90’s? If you’re wondering why I am exposing an embarrassing yearly tradition featuring my family, you can catch up here and here. But let’s get to the good stuff.
Card #7 – 1991
Moving on up! That’s right folks- no more photo shoots on rocking chairs in the living room in front a curtain. This was the year we finally moved out of our tiny two-bedroom condo and into our own house. Though you probably couldn’t see it due to my mother’s hair obstructing the view. Another thing you may not be able to see are our festive Christmas sweatshirts with cross-stitched moose wearing wreaths. If that doesn’t scream New Hampshire, I don’t know what does. This was also the first (and last) card photo featuring my beloved cat Tiger (RIP!) who like my sister, was not to keen on being forced to be in the picture. She lucked out, because unlike the cat, we did not put her on a leash when attempting this. Despite the new house, sweatshirts, Santa hat, children and cat, we needed just one more prop, and that’s where the inflatable candy cane came in. Why we even had an inflatable candy cane is beyond me, but it obviously completed the photo.
Card #8 – 1992
I told you- you can’t escape the Christmas background! That’s not the only hand me down in this picture, as my sister is wearing the same dress I sported in Card #4. Always a bridesmaid, those younger siblings. Not only did I get a new dress, I am also rocking a sweet oversized satin bow and I obviously got my hands on makeup for the first time. I don’t know why someone wouldn’t have stopped a second grader from smearing blue eyeshadow halfway up her face, but hey, it takes some of us years to grow into our fabulousness. And let’s face it, the saggy nylons are certainly not speeding up the process.
Card #9 – 1993
Oh, man. Where do I even start? Now you have to love my mother for dreaming up a card concept in September, but it would have been nice to have at least one of these pictures with snow in it. Instead we were forced to sweat in our winter attire and pretend that Christmas was just around the corner. And I’m all for warmth, especially growing up in New England, but I don’t see why puffer jackets ever had to look like this. C’mon, my sister looks like a miniature body builder and I look like that chubby purple girl in that children’s movie I still haven’t seen. Also, can we talk about my pants? Steve and I certainly did.
Me: These are the ugliest pants in the history of the world. I don’t think a worse pair of pants have ever existed.
Steve: Um, I believe you tried to buy those exact pants at J.Crew last week, and I told you they were hideous. So who are you trying to fool?
Up next- the unintentionally offensive Christmas card.