Little Boy Bear Blu, Come Swallow Your Corn
I guess I’m a little behind on this story, but I heard on the radio today about the latest viral video causing a ruckus on the interwebs. If you live under a rock or watch, you know, the news or something, you may not have seen the footage of former Clueless star Alicia Silverstone feeding her 10 month old son by pre-chewing his food baby bird style and then spitting it into his mouth.
So overnight this has become a pretty controversial topic. Cher (I mean, Alicia) has made no secret about the fact that she’s like a full on hippie. She used to basically assault people that were wearing fur. She had a “green” wedding, whatever that means. Give her a hacky sack and a vial of patchouli and her hippie fate is sealed.
I don’t know if I’m allowed to comment on the way people parent their children, as I am not a mother myself and maybe I just don’t get it. But as a person who has eyes this one just makes my stomach churn. First of all, all I can picture is that Bird Family skit on SNL with Julianna Margulies. Shudder. Second, when I first heard about this, I thought maybe she was out in public like eating at a restaurant or something and was “caught” on video. Still not okay, but less creepy than how this actually got out- she released it on her website as a baby feeding tip.
Seriously, Alicia?! We don’t hear from you for like over ten years, and this is how you decide to reappear on the scene? Also I know she hasn’t worked in quite some time, but I’m guessing she still has some Aerosmith money somewhere and can afford a food processor. I mean, I saw Baby Magic Bullets in Walmart just yesterday for $14.95. I get that if you were like, stranded on a deserted island with your baby and there weren’t any outlets to plug in your baby blender and you HAD to chew up his food for him to survive, that would be okay. This is just… gross. And weird. And I know that mothers will do anything for their children, but this seems like a very crazy extreme.
Listen, you’ve already kind of screwed this kid over from day one by giving him name that he can in no way introduce himself in a job interview or in any social situation without people snickering and asking where his horn is. She also stated on her site that while Little Bear used to be timid when it came to his secondhand lunch, he’s now totally adapted and just snatches food right out of her mouth whenever she’s eating! Isn’t that just darling? There’s nothing anyone loves more than a kid that likes to steal food right out of people’s mouths. Someday when he goes to elementary school kids are going to be begging him to steal their lunch money instead.
So I guess the bigger issue is the risk of transferring bacteria and ruining his baby teeth, but I think it’s more about the fact Bear Blu is going to become a huge social pariah and that Alicia I think has sufficiently squashed any hopes for Clueless 2: Rise of the Bettys.
This story has me totally ‘buggin.