I Put a Spell on You
I love Halloween. It’s always been tied with the Fourth of July as my favorite holiday. It’s no secret I love anything that requires a lot of effort for a single ensemble, so I think that explains our love affair.
I happen to be married to someone who hates Halloween. In high school, I remember I used to get so upset that I didn’t have a boyfriend because I never had someone to dress up as some sort of “couple” costume with. My mom always used to make fun of me because she said most girls wanted boyfriends for Valentine’s Day. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE OUTFITS, PEOPLE. So needless to say, the past few years have been very tame when it comes to costuming.
In his defense, last year there was a freakin snowstorm. And there’s already been a hurricane this year, so needless to say, I haven’t dressed up since 2010. But in the spirit of All Hallows Eve, I have been reminiscing over some of my costumes from the past few years or so. Unfortunately I didn’t plan ahead so I don’t have any pictures that are from the pre-digital age. Those will probably have to wait until next year.
However, compliments of my mom’s Facebook profile picture, we do have this one gem:
That’s right- those are matching cross-stitched pumpkin sweaters. You can’t see mine, but trust me, it’s there.
Ahh, college. Finally you can dress up like a whore for Halloween and you don’t have to hide it from your parents under a long coat before you go out. Except I actually wore this costume my senior year of high school as well, and I think the only reason I got away with it is because my friend Ryan went with me as Hugh Heffner. If you even have to wonder why I chose this as my costume, then you have obviously never seen Legally Blonde. Also I attempted to make those marabou edged gloves myself. As you can see, sewing is not one of my areas of expertise, hence why I usually purchase costume pieces vs. actually making anything.
As you will see in many photos, my costume choices are often inspired by current pop culture references. Well, except this one. Because that whole Britney/Madonna VMA kiss was actually the year before, so no one knew who I was. By the end of the night I stopped telling people I was Britney (even though I analyzed her outfit and literally copied every piece precisely) and just told them I was Madonna, which despite that reference being from the eighties, everyone got. Side note: are those the worst shoes ever made? Thank you, Payless. You’re always there for a girl on a Halloween budget.
Finally, we’re getting somewhere with the timeliness of these costumes. This was right after Dukes of Hazzard came out and Jessica Simpson was all skinny and gorgeous and wearing non-mom jeans. I got those cowboy boots for my birthday and worked them into every outfit I could, despite the fact that I am quite possibly the least country girl you will ever meet. Also I was real proud of myself for figuring out how to apply fake eyelashes without assistance.
Okay this one isn’t one of my best, as exhibited by my “eh?” pose in this picture. In my defense, I had not planned a Halloween costume that year, and I was in St. Louis with my fellow Clockers for a journalism conference. We decided last minute to hit up the hotel bar for some karaoke. Those are my pajamas/work out clothes. Minus the work out part. Wait, no- I actually did buy this outfit to play intramural floor hockey in. Betcha didn’t see that one coming, huh?!
RIP, Amy Winehouse. This is one of my favorite costumes ever. For some reason I loved wearing that tattoo shirt. I think I loved this one so much because this is what Halloween is all about- being someone other than yourself. This is definitely the anti-Lindsay in every sense. I even blacked out one of my teeth. It was serious.
Not sure how I managed two costumes that year, but I’m guessing this one was an afterthought, because I know for a fact I was wearing all pieces I already owned. Shocker.
Another repeat! I’m mildly horrified as repeating outfits is one of my personal pet peeves. In my defense, I know that was the first real week of my job and this party was actually a week after Halloween, so only half the people in attendance were in costume anyway. But look! A couple costume! My dream finally came true.
Oh, the irony. The same year I get engaged I also dressed as a “Single Lady.” However I did hear later that I was kind of a bitch about it, constantly reminding everyone that I was engaged and he did in fact “put a ring on it.” Regardless, this was another good one because it required so few pieces- I mean, who doesn’t already own a leotard, oversized costume earrings and a Bump It?
I mean, seriously, is this one of the greatest couples costumes ever or what? Okay, so I’m not exactly impartial. But I was so excited that I got Steve to agree to this, and I was super proud of him for making his own costume. I had no idea what he was going to wear, and when I left for work that day I just begged him to have something. By the time I got home he had found an American Eagle shirt at the Salvation Army and made a varsity jacket out of this stick on shiny material and a $3 crew neck sweatshirt. We even carved a Glee logo into our pumpkin that year. Too bad this costume only saw the bar at TGI Friday’s.
And since then? Nothing. As previously stated, the Great Halloween Snowstorm of 2011 squashed any plans for last year, and so far I have done exactly this much celebrating:
|amok amok amok.|
I have resolved for next year to actually do something awesome for Halloween. That gives me plenty of time to come up with my costume.
So I will leave you with this. A picture from my very first Halloween. Steve once saw this picture at my house and tried to indite my parents for child endangerment. I say that this means that your parents love you extra because they wanted to make your first Halloween so special. Or according to my mother, “when you have your first child you just think that there are certain things you’re supposed to do.”
Happy Halloween kiddos. Try to stay safer than this.