I Don’t Feel So Alive
Ugh, I’m sick.
Not like I have a cold sick. I get colds and coughs and general snottiness all the time (I know you just had to know all of that. You’re welcome).
If you asked me on Saturday night, I would have told you I was dying. Alright, I guess that’s a little overdramatic but I was in such pain that death seemed imminent. After going to the E.R. and whatever other doctor I could find (thank you Urgent Care, for taking in a dumb twenty seven year old young woman who STILL hasn’t found a primary care doctor in Massachusetts despite taking up residence here for the past three years), it’s pretty much a guarantee that I have a kidney infection. And it suuuuuuuucks. Not just because it sucks anytime you feel like a part of your body is failing on you (or in my case, rebelling because I’m not so good with the eating healthy/exercising), but because the pain I have felt in conjunction with this has like totally imobilized me.
I am now on day three of sitting on the couch/doing nothing and even I am bored with myself. Did you know that there’s only so much Bravo you can watch before you lose vital brain cells that prevent you from performing basic functions? Combine that with painkillers and you’re basically a useless blob. I always wish I had this many days off in a row, but that was to hopefully you know, accomplish something. The pain in my side has prevented me from putting away my laundry, blogging (!!!), painting my nails, washing my hair (I don’t want to talk about how long it has been) and performing any motions other than walking back and forth to my bedroom.
So needless to say, that’s why I’ve been sort of MIA. And not in a cool way like the rapper, as in like absent in the world. Especially blog world. Which really sucks, because now would be the perfect time to just get a whole bunch of crap done. But when you feel this horrible/are in a oxycodone haze, the last thing you can do is pull yourself together enough to compose a Friday’s Fancies, Olympic wrap up, or a montage of adorable photos from my first ever maternity shoot (taking the pictures, not being in them. After the discomfort I’ve been in I can tell you that having a baby is the LAST thing on my brain right now).
In short, this is what I can deduce from living the past three days as a vegetable:
1. I miss humans. Real ones, like other than the other sickly people in waiting rooms and every person on Bridezillas.
2. I don’t really care for Aylin (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you clearly didn’t just watch six episodes of The Glee Project IN A ROW).
3. Microwaveable heating pads are the greatest invention ever (can you believe in the old days they had to be plugged in?! psh).
4. It’s okay to abandon all of your fashion rules when you feel like crap (I went to the E.R. in socks and sandals- I KNOW) but you still have to brush your teeth.
5. Husbands are the best. Well I don’t know if all of them are, but mine certainly is. I knew this already, but it pretty much hit home when I woke up this morning and realized he labeled all my medications in black Sharpie because it’s really hard to tell them apart in a drug induced haze.
So that’s where I’ve been. I’m hoping after this round of antibiotics I’ll be back to my regular self. Because the version of myself that I have been for the past seventy two hours is someone that no one should want to be friends with. I’m thinking about breaking up with me.