I can’t pretend that there is any sort of blanket statement that would explain this next round of photos. The first three posts were all like, “look at these cute children in pajamas/Christmas dresses. Aren’t they darling?” These next three in comparison don’t even seem like they’re from the same family. Of course there are some Scalera family Christmas card trademarks – pajamas, winter clothes, the fake Christmas fireplace backdrop. Some of the concepts are vague in purpose and one is just downright “inappropriate” (Grandma’s words, not mine). See for yourselves.

Card #10 – 1994 

I guess if I had to classify a theme for this one it’s “Stuff We Like That Totally Dates This Photo.” For Becky, The Lion King was her ultimate obsession. How she went from being afraid of the preview to watching it everyday on VHS when she came home from preschool, I have no idea. Her world was consumed- everything from her bedroom to her clothes, covered in singing African animals. She was physically in love with the character of Timon, despite the fact that she was freaked out by his stuffed animal version’s “elbow hair” and made my mom trim it. For me, it was all about Kirsten Larson. But you probably knew that. Unfortunately my love for her did not translate to properly caring for her hair, and by this point her traditional Swedish loop braids were history, never to be the same. I love how this picture says, “oh hello there. You just happened to stumble upon us waking up on Christmas morning as we come down the stairs and get a first glance at our glorious gifts.” But since people were opening this card in early December, I imagine they were confused. Was this a card from the future? No one will ever know…

Card #11 – 1995

I’m going to be honest, I don’t even remember why we did this. It’s a miracle that there’s snow in this picture, but again, it’s New England so this could have been Halloween. I vaguely remember that someone my parents knew had painted these and used them as lawn ornaments at Christmastime. I have no idea who these people were or where they lived. I just remember being ushered into the car all bundled up and being told that “today was the day” we were going to take our photo. So go stand in a stranger’s lawn and let’s get this wrapped up before someone comes. Okay, I’m sure we actually had permission. I still think something is weird about this though. Can we also notice that my sister has now inherited my jacket and the plaid purple pantsuit pants?! Some things just refuse to die.

Card #12 – 1996

My apologies for what you have just seen. In case you’re not sure and you don’t believe it, yes, that’s a photo of a sixth and second grader in their bikinis. I may have mentioned before that my dad has a slight obsession with Jimmy Buffet. The concept for this one was the whole “Island Christmas” vibe, which was ironic, because again, we lived in NEW HAMPSHIRE. And it’s not like we took this on the beach in the summer. Oh no, this was the first time I remember the Christmas card becoming a full scale photo shoot. 1996 was the year we had to start setting it up in the garage and running a space heater because it was so freaking cold. Especially when you’re in your BATHING SUITS. I’m going to spare you the other photos, but let’s just say Doreen was quite the propmaster that day. There were lawn chairs, fake presents, and margaritas (virgin, of course). I believe the tagline read “Wishing You a Cool Yule.” I think that all those things could be fine, but what really takes this photo from silly Christmas card to exhibit A at future therapy are the poses. I think my sister would holla for a dolla way before Honey Boo Boo was even a twinkle in Sugar Bear’s eye. My grandmother was so offended by this card she sent it back. Unfortunately for you, that’s not an option. Thanks, Internet.

I swear, the next installment will be less emotionally scarring. For you, at least. I can’t say the same for myself.

~L