Monthly Archives: July 2012
How many times did you say that day you “wanted a hot dog real bad?” I’m going to guess no less than five for us.
Speaking of accessorizing, how bummed was I that the horrendous downpour prevented me from sporting so many of my planned outfits? Well I can tell you, not as bummed as the fact that Steve showed up in this:
Which quickly turned into this:
~L
It’s no secret that I have a small interest, okay obsession, with all things red, white and blue. So of course the Fourth of July is one of my two all-time favorite holidays (the other being Halloween, natch). I think it also stems from the fact that my grandfather was in the Navy and my mother was so into like the whole country Americana thing.
Did you miss me?
Okay, so I may have taken an accidental hiatus the past few weeks. I went on like three trips, which is three more than I’ve taken all year, let alone in three weeks. I say my hiatus was accidental because I brought my laptop to many of these places with me and didn’t crack it open once. Sorry, folks. I missed you though.
So needless to say, I have tons of recapping/updating/photo editing/unpacking (yes, still. I’m the worst) to do. Tomorrow is my first full day off without plans in a long while so I’m locking myself somewhere with WiFi hoping to get some things accomplished. And if I don’t… it means it was nice out and I went to the pool instead. My life is so hard.
even steven (get it?!?!?!) has been begging me to blog again. or maybe he just wants me to leave him alone so he can watch olympics coverage in peace. |
Okay, I admit it. I’ve totally been suckered into this Retro MTV morning programming and I just cannot seem to stop myself from watching/DVR’ing every episode of my former favorite reality programs. Last week was bad enough with Laguna Beach, and then The Hills went and started today. I get that MTV is probably gearing these daily three hour blocks towards high school/college kids who are actually too young to have seen it the first time. Also they probably have the summer off and are working twelve hours a week, so there is an infinite amount of spare time to spend on what my mom would call “mindless crap.” But there was a small part of me that was kind of excited to relive a part of my youth. All this Retro talk is making me feel like I can refer to myself as an old person, as I was all of nineteen when I started watching LB in my dorm room at Cazenovia College. There’s nothing like living in a snowy village in upstate New York that makes you infatuated with a bunch of spoiled teenagers living in California.
However this time around I am watching in a totally different light. And by that I mean this show really sucks. No, I take that back. The show doesn’t suck. They were most likely doing the best they could with what little substance that was radiating out of their main “characters” stimulation conversations. The people on this show suck. There, I said it.
I was sort of okay with LB because the whole time I just kept saying to myself, “these people are seventeen. Who wasn’t a big fat idiot when they were in high school?” But The Hills is a whole other ball game. Mainly because these people are nineteen years old. Part of the premise is them living on their own/growing up/going to school/working their “dream jobs.” They are living lives that people in their thirties are still trying to achieve who are actually working for it. Also, they are just so stupid. SO STUPID. Even Lauren, who must actually be smart to come out of this whole thing as successful as she has, just had so many moments where you wanted to jump through the TV and shake her thick black headband right off her head.
careful, lauren. that’s how sex tapes get made. |
1. Lauren and Heidi go to school. Heidi misses her entire first day because she “can’t find it.” Instead of asking someone where “it” is, she remains in her lawn chair and plays solitaire. Only someone who will never understand what a bitch it is to pay back school loans would give up so easily.
2. Heidi and Lauren go to the nightclub LAX, where Heidi meets Brent Bolthouse, who offers to interview her for his company. They were definitely both nineteen at the start of this show, so how did they get in? Also, other than Abercrombie and Fitch, what companies do their recruiting of underage girls at night clubs?
3. Heidi somehow gets the job, despite having the worst interview ever and showing up in jeans and a sleeveless cowl neck sweater.
4. Heidi is horrified to discover that her cool new job is full time and she has to stuff envelopes on her first day. She goes into Brent’s office no less than three times to complain about how she thought it was only part time. You know, because working 9:00-6:00 is really getting in the way of her snuggling with her boyfriend all day.
5. This is an actual show opener conversation between Whitney and Lauren:
Whitney: Jeans can be really addicting. There’s like, always new ones and you feel like you have to have them.
Lauren: *laughs*
How hilarious. Have you ever heard such witty banter among colleagues?
6. At least three of Audrina’s loser dates laugh at her when she mentions being at work during the day. One of these guys is a model and one appears to have no job at all. So, a real group of winners there that you want to impress.
7. Lauren moves to L.A. with what appears to be all of her earthly positions in one pink suitcase half hanging out of the backseat of her black BMW convertible. This doesn’t seem ridiculous when the show continues and you see her wearing a long sleeved black shirt and jean capris everyday.
8. Laure and Heidi’s boyfriends apparently need to celebrate milestones on THE EXACT DAY they happen, despite the fact that neither of them seem to work and therefore have a pretty open social calendar. Lauren and Jason practically break up because she had to work at a photo shoot on his birthday (which was a Wednesday). Heidi finally gets offered the chance to work events and then after realizing the first one would be on her and Jordan’s six month anniversary (really?!), makes a face that could only resemble that of someone who just saw their dog get hit by a car. This was also a Wednesday. Here’s an idea: why not celebrate these events on a different day? Like, Thursday?
9. Heidi’s boyfriend gives her a puppy in the Christmas episode. She names it Bella. It was never seen again. WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT PUPPY?!
10. The flip phones. So many flip phones. Okay, I know they can’t help this one because at the time, the most advanced form of technology was a Motorola Razor. But I couldn’t help but laugh.
*Disclaimer: I get that a lot of these things happened because they are on TV, and that if normal people engaged in any of this behavior they would never get jobs or you know, survive. But still, c’mon.
um, duh. it was totally my sleeveless turtleneck & non-existent resume that got me the job. |
Not that any of this is going to keep me from watching. You better believe I have my DVR set for every day this week while I’m getting my nautical on in Maine for the Fourth of July. If watching these idiots achieve fame isn’t celebrating the American Dream, I don’t know what is.
~L
PS- I know this is years old and MadTV doesn’t even exist anymore, but this is still my favorite Hills parody ever. And you can headband yourself all the way home.
I love presents. Yes, I said it. I know that people are supposed to be all humble and like “oh, I don’t need any earthly possessions. All the gifts I need are love and happiness and health and that’s all.” Yes, all those things are great and everyone should have them, but c’mon- getting presents is FUN. There, I said it.
I would also like to point out that I love to give presents as well. And buy fancy cards that my husband says we can’t afford. And gift-wrap like I had my own room in Candy Spelling’s house. So it’s definitely a two-way street. Presents are awesome and anyone who says otherwise is LYING.
Thomas Paul Scrimshaw Plates |
I am obsessed with these plates for obvious reasons. Part of the reason that I want this set is because I am already the proud owner of the Moby Platter. I mentioned in a previous Mall Madness Monday post that Steve was in a tizzy over this plate because it was plastic. In fact, these are all plastic. However I think it’s the perfect casual set to use outdoors. Do I have an outdoor space? No. Of course not. But I’m thinking of the future/things I want immediately.
Most Talkative by Andy Cohen |
This Means War on DVD |
I don’t care what the critics say, Steve and I saw this in the theater and I loved it. Then again, I’m slightly biased because Reese Witherspoon is my favorite actress of.all.time. I have almost every single one of her movies on DVD (and some on VHS!) so I need this to round out my collection.
I only discovered The Bloggess a few months ago, but apparently Jenny Lawson has been at this for years. Around the time I started reading was when she announced her first book was coming out. Obviously I’m all for supporting my favorite bloggers in any capacity, and releasing an actual book is like a huge deal. Plus she’s just super funny and I can’t wait to read this.
Perfect Skinny Glitter belt in Gold by Ann Taylor |
Touch Cut Away Tank via Roster |
So this tank has been available forever in Roster, but only the Sox version. I am always on the hunt for more girly Bruins things to wear (not a pink hat, but do jerseys have to be so boxy?) and it wasn’t until April that I finally saw this version pop up. Probably because I had been personally begging Alyssa Milano to show us a little love. Well maybe it’s more cause the B’s finally took home the cup. Anyway, this one has to go on the birthday list because I could never spend $60 on a tank top for myself. Well I could, but not even a Bruins logo would convince Steve that that was a worthwhile purchase.
Initial Signet Ring by Jennifer Zeuner |
I have a love/hate relationship with Lauren Conrad, because I am bitterly jealous of all of her success but I love everything she wears. When I saw her sporting one of these monogrammed signet rings I was all like “ahhhh omg I have to have it.” I like that it’s old school (Prince William wears one instead of a wedding ring!) but I would rock it on my middle finger a la LC and not on the pinky like the leader of an Italian mob family. I would be happy with either and “L” or my full on initials, but again, minorly obsessed with gold at the moment. Also it could really be from anywhere, because this one is almost $200. Maybe if I had LC money this would fly, but I mean, I could get like twenty dresses on clearance for that at Forever 21.
Top of the Rock by Warren Littlefield |
Cards Against Humanity via Amazon |
If you’ve never played this game before, you probably have never had real actual fun in your life. Also you’re probably a good person. This game is for bad people who know they’re going to hell and might as well have fun before their handbasket arrives. It is basically a super-offensive version of my favorite game, Apples to Apples. Make sure to play in a judge-free zone. I tried it once with friends and I absolutely need my own.
Of course I am in no way implying that I am expecting to receive all of these things or that I need them all. This is just a momentary fantasy in which I’m indulging myself via a birthday wish list. I promise to be less selfish tomorrow.
~L
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